Good friends goodbye, for now... its time to go.
...But hey I say, well that's okay, because I'll see you very soon, I
For those of you who don't know, these lyrics come from one of my
favourite songs form my childhood. A special song that in a facade
allowed myself to believe that the good days would continue to roll by,
those astronomically happy days from those days where you freshly broke
double digits in age, days you wish you cherished a little more.
I've come to grips with myself in the fact that a part of me will never
want to grow up. My bedroom is filled with posters from every year form
2001 until today, with every year's addition of poster a reflection of
what i still feel and wonder about inside. That is to say, it starts off
with Pokemon, Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and finishes off with concert posters,
Bioshock propaganda pieces and autographed signs of famous actors. Not
the greatest of reflections, I have to concede.
Before I go to sleep I occasionally look around my surroundings. The
days of watching Digimon transform into greater beasts, the wonderful
imagination that I held after it finished, drawing hours upon hours of
inanimate sketches. Going outside every day to play handball, having the
three Muskateers feel inseparable in our friendship. It saddens me that
I look back on that time, and while my life now is filled with insight,
wonder and amazement modern day psyches bog me down and it looks to
stand so weakly in contrast. Its something that we all come to terms
with at some point in our lives, the fact that out childhood is over and
what we were and what we felt in those moments simply won't be
retrieved in our current, linear paths.
I hope it isn't misinterpreted to say that we won't feel any sense of childlike wonder in
our years to come. But the things that amaze us will have to be
relative. Travelling still amazes me and fills me with excitement at the
revelation to immerse myself into another society, boots on the ground
and all. But it is a financially draining and time consuming task (which
I will still continue to devote the greater portion of my income to),
and it must be said that this sort of luxury is only available to us in
the wealther sect of the world.
Growing up now, some days I wake up sad and I have no idea why. It may
be the early signs of something greater to come, but I feel that it
never gets to that stage of required assistance. Those days where I feel
like I have accomplished nothing. The small lies that I tell to people
accumulate and create a pressure unknown in angst. Those days where I
suddenly feel that everyone around me is living amazing lives, devoid of
problems and worries, despite my rationale already in certainty that
this is untrue. Our brains are tricky things, scientifically made up of chemical reactions, matter and nodes zapping one another. But on a entirely different level they are so creative and destructive in what we can build up, and potentially tear down.
The past is gone, enjoy and treasure the fact that awesome things have happened. Reminisce those moments past playing with those robots, watching those TV shows. Cherish the moments now at birthday parties, exploring new places, and meeting new people. Look forward to the turbulent life that you hope to live in the future.