Monday, 17 September 2012

Flight is for the Fearful(less)

The experience of this past week has been an incredibly interesting one. Once again it kinda throws the whole fact that I'm disconnected from people my age back into my psyche.
For hours I work with people close to my age, and naturally we start talking about interests and what not. The standard response of clubbing, drinking, partying and stuff is what I generally receive from people, where as I tend to reply with stuff like exploring and sleeping.

I'm a lot more quiet at work. I feel a little out of place where as everyone else has seemingly made attempts to get to know each other. When I try, I come up with having nothing of real compatibility to say, so I instead I dont say anything or make witty remarks. At university; great and rounded as a lot of the people may be, even to students who I dont actually know or like, I put on a spark of civility to see it through.

And I have no real other way of communicating to these people. Some people leave me disillusioned as products of all the pressures of society has; giving weight to broken values of consumerism, materialism, appearance, wealth and fame. I don't know how to truly talk these kind of people anymore, although I still have a great determination to provide suggestions toward (what I see as) the more valuable pieces in this world, and life in general. I smile and nod most of the time, and have only recently started calling my friends in my closest circle by their nicknames. It's kind of a new situation for me, and whilst I'm adapting the best that I can, I still readily criticise myself and accepct constructive criticism form my peers, for my shortcomings.

All in all, this week has been an example of great reflection. I realise as hopeful as I want to be put barriers against the useless values of this disjointed society; I have subconciously inherited a few of them. Someone I have happened to meet in general contact; of the most interesting, fascinating, witty and empathetic soul I have come across in my life thus far, for some distorted reason I still feel inclined to comment on appearance, as much as I dislike this very concept.

I felt temporarily saddened that an overseas exchange scholarship I recieved to go towards visting Turkey was cancelled due to a human error. I had been planning 3 months for this, started learning the language, anticipating the cultural and aesthetic impact it would have. But I started off an a high level, this trip would only make it higher. Why should I complain so much? Give me exactly 24 hours of unnecessary self pity and I will be on my way back to reality.

Oh and I've started a pretty fascinating occuption employed by the University to assist International students in facilitating and assisting their transitioning tertiary lives.

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