Monday, 31 December 2012

At the end of the beginning

Thus ends my final year in my teenage life. Simply put, these 19 yrs have been a truly enjoyable rollercoaster. This year has opened up more doors than ever before, meeting one of my best friends in my tertiary life, acquiring not one but two jobs in administrative work and student assistant for my university, and dating one of the most unique girls I have ever come across.

Just a heads up this post is going to be one of the most self centered and pious posts I'll ever write on this blog, because everything's from my perspective in my own little world.

I have so much to be thankful for. My friends are great, my academics have pushed me into transfer into a Commerce combined Law degree at this same institution. I want to make a different with this degree in either civil liberties or climate change. My parents although flawed in many ways are incredible people, selfless and affectionate in their parenting strategy.

But its not just about this year. I really enjoyed primary school. Effortlessly at the top of my class I scored the highest mark in both the final and selective school test in my entire year. I made friends which have largely left my life but have impacted me to this very day. CC and RC our muskateer rants and activities truly radiated in the final moments leaving Beverly Hills Public. Play the game, if you will.

High school started off disastrously. Outcasted by my peers until mid year 8 I harkened back to the joyful periods of primary school. But alas this did not last, I have met some of the brightest and most loyal friends one could have, mostly in this little micro society I affectionately refer to as the Room 13 Boys. It cannot be understated that although my skill set was not completely sharpened during this time it was simply enjoyable to be in its presence, relaxing and talking those recesses and lunches walking aimlessly around the school talking from politics to life to friends to food. WL, CH, AP, DC you will always be close to reach if friendship ever calls.

My sister's still as colourful and bright as ever, garnering the top position in Visual Arts for her grade. Ive met the coolest people in university, IK, WT, JB, RS through your charisma and spirit I have also the luxury to meet BN, SP and introduced to the whole new world of gaming. Such a fun and worthwhile experience it has been.

Of course not everything has been rosy, I was rejected by an epic soul which I guess was too incompatible to being with, but still stings. In my course a great many DickHeads have also crossed my paths, and what a learning experience it is to deal with those people and neutralise their input into your day to day actions! Failure in academics at the end of year 12 left myself, my family and my peers paralysed in disappointment but I guess that's been overcome with my UAC offers. My lack of will and motivation as a teenager to really pursue anything of real value or thought really pulled me down, and I alwys wished I had played more sports as a kid. These 19 years have gone up and down but I firmly believe the beginning should largely start off awesomely, and to that; it certainly has had an awesome aggregate.

All in all uni has changed me for the better. Everything I see has more perspective. My inhibitions have taken a sidestep to my willingness to talk to peers. I am willing to study harder and longer, garnering my first High Distinction at the end of my first year of university. I hope to replicate this success in my law degree.

However life isnt all about academics. My life in travels has also been turbulent. From the Glitz and glamour in the soraing rpelicas of Laz Vegas to the duty streets of rural Southern China I have seen small pockets of the world that many people simply do not have the chance to see. I have witnessed history as the YanXi river floods, leaving behind a trail of destruction to a great many rare and wonderous artifacts. The ghost city wil always have a place in my heart as the little dangly skeleton that hangs form my desklight, leaving deathly shadows in its wake. I have seen progress take the limelight in place of human rights and environmental appreciation, where man has seen the lens of short sighted gratification, blind to the cliff that we are slowly but surely veering towards.

At the same time I have also seen the shining city on a hill for myself. The powerhouse of the world, the lumbering juggernaut of America. Behind the veil it is all it claims to be but at the same time so much less. The people appear more miserable and dissatisfied than those at home. The infrastruture, economic system and morale has sunk to depths i did not think imaginable several years prior. My travels to Malaysia and Singapore have opened my eyes to seeing so many walks of life so close to each other but so different in every single other aspect.

Heres to the end of my beginning, may the body be just as good, and the conclusion end in style. Ill end this post with a quote by one of my favourite scientists of all time:

But when you say, "Is this it?" How much more do you want? I mean THIS, is wonderful! - R. Dawkins

Wednesday, 21 November 2012


Lets take a look at how artificial I can be sometimes for the world to see:

I wear masks to people I do not know well.

My memory is haywire, confusing, mismatched and inconsistent.

I am blind to see people's true radiating core until they have walked away.

I cannot express myself well to people who are too different from me.

My perception skills are redundant in reading most people.

I lose my mind to people I like, but do not actually trust.

I have too much hope for a society that has been largely lost amidst consumerism and corruption.

I fabricate things well to the point where I find myself in high and mighty positions based on false leadership attributes.

I try to make friends with people who don't want to make friends with me.

This has been spurred on by recent criticism directed at me form behind closed doors in my society. Thanks for hardening my spine, thats all there is for now, there isn't any more.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Good intentions

We all inherently have "good" intentions. None of us like to see ourselves as the villian, even acting upon inhumane and egrigious acts we have all managed to rationalise it in such a way that it makes sense to us. Psychopaths have described themselves as "sick" rather than "bad" people, and even throughout history it was always positioned that any acts against humanity were in the greater good for themselves in their objective in life, or their community. I'm sure Adolf Hitler in his mind positioned himself to think that Jewish people were of weaker evolutionary status and wanted to further the human race in favourable genes. The worst of humanity has been rationalised in some spirit of another for their flames of passion to burn.

Which brings this train of thought to myself. As I've grown older I find the ends to nearly always justify the means. If we can end up with a cleaner world with solar panels and environmental protection, I don't care how it is funded in whichever disguting intention of corporate interest drives it. If I can avoid hurting people to achieve my goals then I will go full steam ahead like a flying arrow to where I deserve to be. All in all, it has been recently reinforced to me as one of the most useful tools in my social arsenel we all have somewhere in our psyche to be able to further my own means:

The ability to lie.

Perhaps this too is an egrigious act that I'm trying to rationalise for myself. I'll leave that unanswered, but let me indulge This world we live in is a jungle of destructive people in rationalisation to themselves that benefits their own goals. There are great crime heists taking place as we speak in the financial world, corrupt politicians walking our streets, and the idea of "care" and "goodwill" is becoming rarer to find. We are constantly being bombarded with what to think, what to do, what to eat and who we should be.

Sometimes you need to lie to get into positions where you can make a change into the cause or issue that simply needs to be changed. As you put on the facade of confidence it will one day transition into the solid plating of armour that will organically power you through the years to come. Lie to become the person you want to be, the influence you want to hold. Essentially, "Fake it until you make it. Then you will become it."

I see two types of lies which require remarkably different skillsets.

Exxageration: Taking the truth and changing the dressing around the core of its truth to present a certain point or series of events. For instance faking your existing foundation of confidence to grow to levels you want it to be, where you will be able to influence people. Fabrication: Creating a whole new episode out of thin air, elaborating creating a scene with specific details and foibles that only a story teller would be able to do, while appearing credible. Each type has its own use in different circumstances, and we cannot let our convictions falter as we exercise such a splendid tool we have been bestowed upon as humans.

Monday, 17 September 2012

Flight is for the Fearful(less)

The experience of this past week has been an incredibly interesting one. Once again it kinda throws the whole fact that I'm disconnected from people my age back into my psyche.
For hours I work with people close to my age, and naturally we start talking about interests and what not. The standard response of clubbing, drinking, partying and stuff is what I generally receive from people, where as I tend to reply with stuff like exploring and sleeping.

I'm a lot more quiet at work. I feel a little out of place where as everyone else has seemingly made attempts to get to know each other. When I try, I come up with having nothing of real compatibility to say, so I instead I dont say anything or make witty remarks. At university; great and rounded as a lot of the people may be, even to students who I dont actually know or like, I put on a spark of civility to see it through.

And I have no real other way of communicating to these people. Some people leave me disillusioned as products of all the pressures of society has; giving weight to broken values of consumerism, materialism, appearance, wealth and fame. I don't know how to truly talk these kind of people anymore, although I still have a great determination to provide suggestions toward (what I see as) the more valuable pieces in this world, and life in general. I smile and nod most of the time, and have only recently started calling my friends in my closest circle by their nicknames. It's kind of a new situation for me, and whilst I'm adapting the best that I can, I still readily criticise myself and accepct constructive criticism form my peers, for my shortcomings.

All in all, this week has been an example of great reflection. I realise as hopeful as I want to be put barriers against the useless values of this disjointed society; I have subconciously inherited a few of them. Someone I have happened to meet in general contact; of the most interesting, fascinating, witty and empathetic soul I have come across in my life thus far, for some distorted reason I still feel inclined to comment on appearance, as much as I dislike this very concept.

I felt temporarily saddened that an overseas exchange scholarship I recieved to go towards visting Turkey was cancelled due to a human error. I had been planning 3 months for this, started learning the language, anticipating the cultural and aesthetic impact it would have. But I started off an a high level, this trip would only make it higher. Why should I complain so much? Give me exactly 24 hours of unnecessary self pity and I will be on my way back to reality.

Oh and I've started a pretty fascinating occuption employed by the University to assist International students in facilitating and assisting their transitioning tertiary lives.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Three Pillars

I like to compartmentalise things. It makes this world a little easier to understand, a little more enriching and a little more fascinating to look upon. Thus I have divided my two greatest questions; Life and People (Thats for another post), into simple parts, and disagreeable they may be it stands to reason as a part of my character, the fabric of principles I go to sleep with everyday. That said, I am open to change should I weigh upon its great limitations.

Life is unfair. How can I, with no merit from the outset be bestowed upon such great luxuries of food, wealth, love and care? There are people out there far brighter and far more capable than I am who live lives of desperate poverty, lucklustre acheviement and constant pressure simply because of where they are born, and the opportunites they are exposed to.

The least I can do is be grateful of how lucky I am in the world, this wonderful environment I like to call "The playground that is University", the abundance of charismatic and incredible people around me. It isn't fair, and I will never truly appreciate how awesome things are, although I do try. I feel that Im continually happy with everything I see, my ambitions go further than the eye can see because it seems like everything's within reach. I can literally count how many bad days Ive had with my hands.

Life is Interesting. There's so much to do around here! Food, sights, people, that give this planet character. All of this is accumulated and sensed by our brains, what wonderous biological machines these are that fit in our skulls. Information also counts as currency in this new age, it has never been an intention of mine to become fabulously wealthy, but if I am the richest man in terms of the great sums of information I have come across in this lifetime it would be an eternal goal I would never truly accomplish, but have a tonne of fun in its simple process, whether I pass any finish line or not.

Life continues. This may be the most important and double edged principle I stand upon. I have heard stories of life abruptly ending, shutting down the ropes of friendship, family and those beautiful connections we call brothers overnight. But I stand to hope that it lasts for as long as I wish it to. A false hope perhaps, what control do we have? We honestly don't, but knowing this phrase alone makes it more enjoyable to stay in while you're here, if you're standing here you might as well enjoy this amusement park.

If things look down, life continues. If they look great, likewise. There are always second chances to pick yourself up and look up, science and technology progresses with the intentions for the future, good or bad as they may be. The cars are still going to drive, businesses continue, supporting and facilitating destruction, happiness, creation and sadness everywhere. But you, and you alone control your own life with the cards you're dealt, see things happily and treasure these moments as it chugs along like a standard freight train.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Return from the South

These past few days can be described as little more in my view than profoundly epic and fruitful in my development as a thinker, as a person. I spent the past few days in Australia's City of Arts, Melbourne for the SIFE Nationals. SIFE stands for Students in Free Enterprise and is essentially a university run and co-corporate and govenrment funded venture to have the greatest positive impact on human society domestically and abroad. As a delegate for Macquarie University we reached the semi-finals (top 8) out of a pool of 28 teams, and important as that may be it didnt have as much as an effect as it otherwise should have.

For it was the grandeur of the speakers that caught my eye. The confidence, like-minded students hoping to actively reshape homelessness in Australia, discrimination, climate change, financial literacy, business and economic problems amongst a host other student run projects.

In our journey I actively met and talked with so many other institutions, notably Melbourne Uni and University of Wollongong had connected with us on many different levels, I stand unbelievably grateful. The HR head of Melbourne even helped drive us around the best parts of the city which would have been otherwise inaccessible to us, I can only re-affirm any return of favour to this.

Of the places we visited we saw the ACMI Games exhibition, Korean BBQ, Karaoke, YumCha, Mt. Dandenong, Hardware Lane, Crown Casino, Lazertag, Miss Marples, Docklands and other places beyond our normal reach.

What I have learnt over the past few days is that disappointment or loss can only make you tougher and more resiliant than before. You can speak naturally if you know where your strengths lie and with reasoable confidence. You can network with anyone if you dont care so much on how you are percieved. Personal annoyances are trivial in the grand scheme of things. You can be great in almost every respect and remain humble, (Kudos; UNE SIFE). Even the superhero leaders have human problems, (Kudos; President HZ, HR Manager JK.) charisma brings a smile of determination and wit into every conversation. Family should mean more than it should.

This society has created the springboard for me to truly open my eyes and develop myself. I feel indebted to this organisation and all the wonderful people who have populated it to see me to do even greater things after seeing your inspirational selves accomplish so much. Thank you.

And finally: our generation still has so much hope left in it, I shouldnt come to any judgement so quickly for anything.

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Wilfully Uninformed

This post stands in stark contrast to the one just passed. For despite its great strides in science and technology, understanding and shaping the very earth we stand on, future outlook and resiliance in the face of great challenges, reality stands back to slap me back into our consumerist, pitiful, broken environment.

I had a conversation with 2 mutual friends of one of my good classmates at university. It was one of the most brain-dead, mind numbing conversations I have ever had, devoid of all intellectual curiosity and thought. Of the topics we covered; "How native Australians tend a dump, Which side of Korea was communist, what type of person we would be if we ever did so and so action."

These 2 individuals were not stupid. Far form it, they were funny, jovial and understanding of the topics within our university itself. But the are the products of all the worst parts in our education system, our world that feeds off new technology, over consumption and rampant disregard for higher order thinking.


Im not informed. I try to be but there's so much of this world I still have to stand back to take in, love and appreciate. All these interesting foods to eat, scenes to see, lives to meet. Everyday at Macquarie something interesting happens. a new friend, a new corridor, new conversations and ideas. But as much as I want to share and replicate this in people I just dont see it. In the words of Dave Ramsey;

"We buy things we dont want, with money we dont have, to impress people who we dont even like".

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

18 things I've learnt in 18 years

So I've seen this kind of list set out before in random articles I've read just scouring the internet... I thought I'd make up my own list. Some of these ideas are sourced from the brilliant minds of others, so what? I dont give a shit! Good advice is good advice that Im taking it all on board!

              1. Everything you do has a consequence. This includes inaction, which sometimes has the greatest of all detrimental impacts. (Inaction through my highschool years led to poor marks)
              2. Stop giving a crap, most people are too caught up in their own world to care about yours. (Embarrassing yourself is a very good thing; tripping over yourself and making light of it at the station)
              3. Your highs will only get higher and your lows likewise if you keep on standing outside of your comfort zone. (Meet new friends, bad days aren't so bad anymore)
              4. Travel while you're young, before cities change or disappear entirely. (Ghost city in the Yangtze River doesn't exist anymore)
              5. Volunteer. The people you meet are amazing, the work you do is amazing, you learn skills no corporate job can give you. (Duke of Edinborough, working with the librarian at Ashfield library)
              6. Things take time and do the hard yards to get to where you want to stand or who you want to be. (Getting into the student society scene, marking your place there)
              7. Take care of your health while you can, you'll regret it later. (Karate in high school left me in great shape, I always regretted stopping)
              8. Don't lose your passions to the oncoming sweep of what everyone else is doing, and the allure of procrastination (Lose your painting interests, go back! Lose your interest in piano, go back!)
              9. Take the time to appreciate where you are and how far you've come. (You're luck in economic position, your successes to keep your failures in check and balance)
              10. People are like jewels, and so are you. As you rotate them they show different sides to different people, and some sides may be duller than others. But you will never truly know someone and I don't think you'll ever know yourself. (Encounter with MN from engineering, reflection upon yourself)
              11. There are times in your life when you have difficult choices to make. Guess what? You’re going to make the wrong choice sometimes. Learn from it, but don’t hold it over your own head. You can’t change it and dwelling on it will only prevent you from making better choices in the future. (Sourcesd from somewhere else; Remember not going for NC in primary school)
              12. "Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt. Pretty self explanatory. (Being bullied in year 7)
              13. Stay ambitious, fierce an aggressive in spirit. The fire may have different periods to burn but keep it lit to achieve your goals. (Remember getting that HD for BBA102?)
              14. Being selfish is necessary sometimes. (Fight your own ground, accrue success more storngly for yourself, Wai's birthday)
              15. Give thanks as much as you can. (Keep giving love to your family and friends, remind them you care)
              16. Fail. They make for beautiful stories when you look back. (Once again, NC)
              17. Do something different. You’ll never look back and think, “Remember that night when we stayed in and watched Netflix?” Netflix will still be there when you get home. (Sourced elsewhere, you watched so much anime back in the day)
              18. People will come and go. The important thing is "What did I learn here?" and try to find humour in everything. (Loss of friendship with MN, finding such humour in dark times)

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Corrupt Geniuses

Imagine a battlefield. The smell of gunpowder and decaying flesh fill the smoke riddled air, obscuring what little sun that shines through. Cries for help are heard in the distance with shooting heard as an icy response. This is what the economic health of the world was upon the brink of. How could we do this to ourselves? How could we go unchecked to such an extent to affect every trust fund, pension account of mortgage of the average globalised citizen in our modern society?

I once thought it was an unavoidable circumstance; why our media basically painted it as an inevitable mix of honest mistake in the free capitalist journey.But no. This was not inevitable, this was the work of a select few firms gambling on derivatives trading worth more than 6 times the wealth of the entire world. These select few, blind by greed and at the "top of their game" in the Wall Street chain of command, I pondered were either corrupt geniuses or blind fools? My conclusion today; neither. They are men. Simple, arrogant, simple men with intents of a criminal, no smarter than you and I, but with the greed and determination of 20,000 lions.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Where Am I?

I grew up in a pretty lucky household. In a happy, middle class suburb in Sydney's South my childhood was littered with little outside of epic memories.

But over the years I have come across a great deal of enlightening and honestly disheartening pieces of information. From the lofty hopes of Democracy of times yonder to its current mutation, the influence of money and corruption in politics, the grand scales of other people's lives and places further than the eye can see.

Im studying a Finance with Robotics degree at Macquarie University in Sydney's North. In seeing the institutions of finance and banking abroad, where financial deregulation has run amuck and ethically decayed the banking institutions in the United States, I only hope for the best in our tiny corner of the Earth. Everywhere I see comfortable ignorance prevails over the truth, and the perpetrators continue to stay happy and afloat amidst the monetary chaos around them.

This wasn't the world I thought I was born into. So I ask; Where am I?